Wednesday, July 23, 2008

She's With Stupid

Now...I am not going to pretend like I was a freaking genius before pregnancy and childbirth, but I have to admit that I wasn't near as stupid as I am now. When I was pregnant, I did plenty of silly things like forget my phone number, put my phone in the freezer, put cereal in Howie's dog bowl, etc. Not a big deal. I am sure there are plenty of people who are guilty of doing those things. And if those were the only dumb things that  I have done since then, I would be okay. But it has gotten worse since Addie was born. I won't mention how I filled up her bath tub without the plug in it...twice. I won't mention how I watched the water going into the tub for about 5 minutes before I asked myself "why isn't it filling?"...twice. I also won't mention how I hooked up my breastpump and watched about 10 minutes of Fox News before I realized I was pumping breastmilk onto my pants because I forgot to attach the bottles...twice. Right now you are probably thinking "damn Jen...you are an idiot". But those are small potatoes in comparison to the dumb thing I did tonight. 
I was able to get an hour to myself tonight so what did I do? I went to Babies- R-Us because I just can't get enough of that place. Anyway, I stood for about 30 minutes in the Carter's clothing section looking at all of their Buy One-Get One 50% off items. I grabbed 4 outfits at $10 each and tried to do the math in my head (take in mind that I am not a math major) and somewhere along the way, I got the Buy One-Get One and the 50% off confused. So when I went up to the register, I expected to get all 4 outfits for $20 (50% off each is $5 and BOGO also makes them $5 each. So any way you look at it...I should get 4 outfits for $20). Now I know you are thinking "Jen...you are an idiot. It is Buy-One and get the OTHER 50% off". But I didn't realize this at the time. So anyway, I go to the counter and they check out all of my items and the total is $10 more than I expected. So here is the dialogue I exchange with the cashier:

Idiot (me): Aren't the Carter's clothes BOGO 50% off?
BRU Lady: Yes they are!
Idiot: So why didn't they ring up that way?
BRU Lady: They did.
Idiot: Well why is my total $10 more than it should be?
BRU Lady: Because they are Buy One-Get One 50% off.
Idiot: I know.
BRU Lady: Right.
Idiot: Right.
BRU Lady: So?
Idiot: What?
BRU Lady: So do you still want them?
Idiot: Yes...but I want them Buy One-Get One 50% off.
BRU Lady: They are.
Idiot: They are what?
BRU Lady: Buy One-Get One 50% off.
Idiot: Huh?
BRU Lady: ...............???????????????????
Idiot: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, Sure sorry, um, I'll take them. Here is my envirosac.

And if that weren't bad enough (with 5 people waiting behind me) I pay the poor woman and walk out of the store WITHOUT MY BAG! I got all the way to the car and turned it on. Then I saw a BRU worker come out of the store with my bag. Thank God I didn't have to go back in the store and look like the jackass who not only can't count or comprehend a very simple transaction, but also leaves without the stuff she just argued about!! I guess I should have Addie wear her "I'm with Stupid" onesie so at least people can see me coming next time :-)
  

4 comments:

  1. lol!! I'm glad I'm not the only one who seems to have lost her mind... and, well, good to know it isn't going to be improving in the months to come!! :o)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jen, I do stuff like that all the time. Glad to know it's just not me. We used to all have pregnancy fog. Now I say we have baby brain! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. LOL Just walk around with this article in hand to explain yourself....thats what I'm going to do anyway!

    ReplyDelete
  4. See I forgot to put up the link!! lol http://www.pregnancytoday.com/articles/emotional-and-mental-health/help-i-have-baby-brain-4843/

    ReplyDelete