But last night, after I typed in some of Addie's cold symptoms, WebMD came up as one of my google hits. I knew they wouldn't have what I was looking for, but I clicked on the damn link anyway. And there it was...a list of all the possible illness Addie could have with the symptoms I typed in (i.e. runny/stuffy nose, watery eyes, little cough, low-grade fever). I saw many common things on the list like a cold, flu, ear infection...but there was one thing on the list that sent me into a panic. Meningitis. I don't know what possessed me to click on the "symptoms of meningitis" link but I did. Idiot.
The first thing I read on the top of the webpage was, "menegitis is often overlooked because the symptoms resemble those of a common cold or flu bug". Nice...JUST what I needed to read. So of course I go on and start reading the symptoms. Fever? Check. Watery eyes? Check. Cold hands and feet with a fever? Ummm......shit....I don't know!!! So I ran in to feel Addie's hands and of course...they were warm. Whew. I knew I should have stopped there but I didn't. I just kept reading and reading and panicking and panicking. I kept running in to check her forehead, her hands, I even busted out a mini flash light to look for any blotches or rashes on her skin. I was in total freak out mode. And as I sat in the kitchen frantically googling everything I could about meningitis....Eric slept peacefully on the couch with Howie. I remember thinking...how can he be sleeping right now? Why isn't he googling with me? Isn't he worried? What a jerk! But then I remembered...he thinks I am just googling cold remedies for babies. He told me I wasn't allowed to go back on WedMD after an unnecessary late night phone call to my OB last year (long story). He would kill me if he knew what I was doing right now. But I couldn't help it! I had myself all worked up. I had already been reassured by my pediatrician...twice...that there was no need to worry. But here I was...worrying myself into a total frenzie. I mean...I have always been a worrier...but this is getting ridiculous! Do all mom's worry like this? Is this what I am going to be doing for the rest of my life...googling cold symptoms and staying awake for 39 straight hours just to make sure that my baby's temp hasn't gone up a tenth of a degree? Is this just part of being a mom? If so...do any of you mamas out there know any good anit-anxiety meds I should taking?