Now that my belly is becoming noticeable to people, I am starting to get asked the inevitable pregnancy questions like, "When are you due?" and "Are you having a boy or a girl?". I love getting asked these questions because I could talk about pregnancy all day long. But what I have come to realize during both of my pregnancies is that some women are pretty damn ballsy. There are certain questions I get asked that just blow my mind. And I am not alone. Many pregnant ladies have told me that they get asked the same things. I am sure I have been guilty of asking some of these questions too, but only to my closest friends/family and only when I know that I am not going to offend someone. But some of these questions I am going to list have been asked by random strangers! And that...my friends...is the most mind blowing part of all. So here they are, in no particular order...
1. "Wow...you are so big! How much weight have you gained?"
My mom always tells me that being referred to as "big" while you are pregnant is a compliment because pregnant ladies should be big. It means you are carrying a healthy baby. And while I can accept that part of the question, asking me how much weight I have gained isn't always appropriate in my opinion. Now, I will gladly share this information because seriously...who cares. But it still shocks me that some women will come right out and ask you this! I was asked this question by a random co-worker (whom I hardly knew) during my first pregnancy.
2. "Why would you want to ruin the surprise and find out the sex of your baby?"
You know...I give props to all those mommies and daddies out there that want to keep their baby's sex a surprise. I have had several friends and family members decide to do this and they said they wouldn't have changed the experience for the world. I, on the other hand, don't have that kind of self control. I like to plan and prepare myself and Eric is the same way. Plus, I think finding out the gender means you get two fantastic surprises. The first one is when you find out the sex, and the second one is when you have them and get to see them for the first time! See how I already have my defense set up? It is because I got asked this question more than once during my first pregnancy, and at least twice during this pregnancy.
3. "You are going to breastfeed aren't you?"
As a matter of fact, I do plan to breastfeed again. But someone PLEASE tell me why the woman working behind the counter at Jiffy Lube needed to know that information? When I was pregnant with Addie, I took my car for an oil change and while I waited, the woman noticed I was pregnant and started asking me a bunch of random questions. But this was my favorite. She then proceeded to tell me about her sister's breastfeeding experience. I learned more about her sister's nipples than I even knew about my own. It was SO uncomfortable. Luckily, she wasn't as judgmental as some other ladies. When I told one woman that I would switch to formula if the baby didn't nurse well, she said "ALL babies can nurse...only lazy mothers resort to formula!" OUTRAGEOUS!! I then said "well I was raised on formula and my mother is the least lazy person I know." The woman shot me an uncomfortable smile and then turned away. I then shot her a satisfied smile and gave her the bird.
4. "Do you plan to get an epidural?"
This question by itself isn't offensive to me. It is an honest question and most woman say "if you are smart you will get one." But then there are a select few women out there who fully believe that epidurals are an easy way out. I am not disagreeing with these women in any way because everyone is entitled to the birth experience they feel most comfortable and satisfied with. Hell...even my mom said "I had all three of you kids without any drugs" and when I asked why, she just said "I didn't feel like I needed any." Sweet woman. She is so blocking out that experience. But regardless of my mom's confidence in a drug-free birth, I was certain that I wanted to be drugged out of my mind. But again, I don't judge women who want a natural birth and I was hoping other women wouldn't judge me for wanting lots of drugs. I didn't get too many rude comments, but I was asked (on more than one occasion) why I wasn't at least going to try to have a natural birth. They would say it just like that, "You aren't even going to try? Don't you want to know what it feels like?" My answer was always "Um...that's okay. I am sure I will feel enough."
5. "Oh...you plan to have another c-section?"
And speaking of not trying, many women feel the need to ask me why I am not going to try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section) this time around. They ask me why I wouldn't want to experience "real" childbirth. And you know...I take a lot of offense to that particular question. I believe that my first childbirth experience was as real as it gets. I felt labor (for 16 hours with a partially working epidural), I felt every second of my first 5 hours of contractions, I was fully awake and able to hear my baby's first cry AND I was able to look at her and kiss her seconds after she was born. Sure...it wasn't the childbirth experience I planned...but that didn't make it any less real to me. And what makes a childbirth experience real? No drugs? Blowing out your vagina instead of getting an incision? Being in labor for 30 hours vs 5? Going into labor naturally instead of having to be induced? I guess I don't understand how anyone can judge another woman's decision. Will I schedule a second c-section? Absolutely. I already have my date picked out. Will I try a VBAC if I go into labor on my own and start progressing quickly? Sure. I am absolutely not apposed to the idea. BUT...I believe that no matter how my second childbirth experience goes...it will be real. To me at least :-)
So there you go...the 5 pregnancy questions and/or comments that blow my mind. Am I leaving any off my list? Have any of you been asked any of these questions? Any of you guilty of asking these questions yourself?