Okay, okay...it looks like I have opened a HUGE can of worms with yesterday's post. I just want to say, for the record, that I never intended to start a heated debate. It was late last night...I read that really great article...and I wanted to pass it along because I thought it described my feelings perfectly. I do get angry (and perhaps a little defensive) when people say negative, inaccurate things about stay-at-home-moms because I am a stay-at-home-mom. It's only natural.
But at the same time, I do understand that not all SAHMs are as busy, tired, overworked or stressed as they say they are. Some SAHMs drop the ball. I drop the ball at least once, if not fifty times a day. Do you know what my kids are doing right now while I type this? Watching TV. Blake is bouncing in his Jumperoo and Addie is watching Ratatouille eating a bowl of watermelon. On my couch. Without a bib. Do you know what I was doing before they got up from their nap? I was laying in bed with Blake taking a nap myself. He has a fever today and he sleeps best when I cuddle him so I left my pile of dirty dishes in the sink, the unopened mail on the counter, and my frozen potroast in the freezer. I am ordering pizza tonight. So...I guess I just suck all around today :-)
But it's okay to suck sometimes. It's okay to make mistakes as a mom. It's okay to be nervous to take 2 kids to the grocery store because you are afraid that you will get too distracted picking out a loaf of bread and your 2-year-old will run off somewhere and in the time that it takes you to grab the baby in the cart and chase her...she will be gone. Yes...I worry about that. I freak out about safety. I have irrational fears about kidnappers. It's not that I can't take two kids to the grocery store when I need to...it's just that I prefer to go at night when I can go alone and concentrate on my coupons, shopping lists, and potential kidnappers.
I guess what I am trying to say is that no mother is perfect. If there were such a thing as a perfect mother, she would have written a manual and we would all be following it right now. And I know we all say that we understand that no mom is perfect, but yet we continue to judge. Guilt and jealousy being the two biggest motivators. I think we all play off each other's insecurities and that is where all the negativity and defensiveness comes from. Just after reading one of the comments from my last post, I feel the need to explain that I usually only blog late at night when the kids are asleep. I feel guilty now for blogging because I think that other mother's out there are judging me for spending time on the computer and not with my children. But why does it have to be that way? Why does it always have to come down to a pissing match?
"I have one child and it is SO hard"
"Oh yeah, well I have FOUR children so don't complain to me"
"Oh yeah, well I have to work and make time for my family"
"Oh yeah, well I am a single mother and I have NO ONE to help me"
So who wins in this scenario? Who is the better mother? The one who can do it alone, the one who can balance work and a family, the one who can juggle multiple children vs. just one or two? I just don't see the point in always arguing about this subject when it seems so simple to just accept the fact that we are all good mothers and we are all doing the best we can with what we were given. Sure, there will always be mother's out there that make us look bad. But using them as examples to make others feel bad about themselves just seems wrong. And sad.
So again, I apologize for opening up this can of worms. I try very hard not to complain, or post about subjects that bring out negativity because that is not fun for others to read. I suppose the best way to end this post...and this conversation...is just to say thanks to everyone who shard their opinion.
Now...lets talk about something fun and happy. Any suggestions? :-)