Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I Teach, Therefore I Drink

I just want to start this post by making one thing very clear...

I LOVE TEACHING COLLEGE ENGLISH!!

I mean that with all my heart. Every semester I'm away from the classroom, I feel like a piece of me is missing. Teaching is a part of me and I am so lucky to have this fabulous, flexible job that allows me to stay home with my kids during the day, and work in the evening. It's awesome and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

But with that said...I just want to blow off some steam and share with you some of the questions I have received so far this semester.

1. Do we get extra credit if we show up to class?

2. Are you going to take points off our paper for grammar errors?

3. Can we still pass this class if we get all D's on our papers?

4. What class is this again?

5. If we can't use "I" in a paper, does that mean I have to use my first name?"

And then of course, I always get a ton of enjoyment out of the RIDICULOUS excuses students give for not getting their work done. Here are some of my favorites, along with my responses.

Student: I haven't bought my books yet because I only get paid every other week.
Me: It's week 5, Chris.
Student: Oh yeah. Shit. My bad. I'll get them this week.

Student: Sorry I was late. I over slept.
Me: But it's a 7:00p.m. class.
Student: Well I was out really late last night.

Student: I'm sorry...I couldn't get my paper done because I just didn't understand the assignment.
Me: Even after talking about if for two weeks, reading over 3 separate handouts, workshopping thesis statements in class and writing a draft?
Student: I like to take my time when I write. I felt rushed.

Student: I was just too busy to get my paper done.
Me: Do you work full-time?
Student: No. I don't have to work. I still live with my parents.
Me: Are you taking a lot of classes this semester?
Student: Nope. Just yours.
Me: Well, what had you so busy this week?
Student: My girlfriend.
Me:...WTF?

Now...do you see why I need this t-shirt?


It's a good thing I LOVE teaching. It's also a good thing that I keep a bottle of wine in my fridge at all times :-)

5 comments:

  1. Hmmm...I need to restock my fridge with some vino!!!

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  2. This post just made me laugh so hard!!!! You always crack me up! Super excited about seeing you this weekend!

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  3. Hahaha I can totally relate to you there! I don't teach college, but I do teach high school which is terrifying in itself! Wine is always a good remedy :-)

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  4. i could write a book while drinking.....

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  5. Very funny. First time reading your blog.

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