I've never been good at playing the "bad cop". Sure, I'm feisty and opinionated and I speak my mind the minute a thought comes to it...but I almost ALWAYS regret saying or doing anything that causes someone to be upset with me. I can't sleep at night knowing that someone is mad at me or worse yet...just plain doesn't like me.
And because I hate that feeling so much, I tend to overdo it on the "good cop". I have trouble saying no, even when I know I should. This is especially true when it comes to being a mom. I would never say yes to something that would harm my children, but if it comes down to whether or not to give them another cookie, watch one last show before bed, or even wear PJs for 4 days straight...I almost always say yes because "yes" is just easier than "no".
I tend to have this same mentality as a teacher too. I say "yes", bend my own rules, allow crappy i-totally-know-you-are-lying excuses, and make exceptions that often leave me feeling used. Sometimes, I'm glad I am this kind of teacher. When I was student, I always appreciated the instructors that were understanding, compassionate and flexible, so that's what I try to be for my students.
But what I have learned recently is that there is a very fine line between being compassionate and flexible...and being a total push-over. Sadly, that's what I feel I've become lately, especially in the classroom. I just finished a really difficult semester and looking back on it now, I realize that I spent far too much time trying to be the good cop when I should have been spending more time being the bad cop.
But I suck at being the bad cop.
I feel like when I finally decide to be the bad cop, I come in too hot and everyone either thinks it's a joke, or that I'm a total lunatic. Either way, it's not effective. I'm just struggling to find the balance between good cop and bad cop. I want to be flexible but firm with my rules. I want to be able to switch between my happy face and my bitch face seamlessly. I want people (and little people) to know I mean business when I say something, and yet still find me compassionate and approachable.
But is all this even possible? Is everyone just destined to be good at one or the other? I think what it really comes down to is the ability to shut off your feelings when you need to. Let go of emotion and think logically when the time calls for it. Or better yet, turn to Pinterest to explain it for you:
Oh how I wish I could learn to choose!!!!
Is anyone else with me here? Are you a perpetual "good cop"? Do you let your emotions take over too often? Do you stay awake at night worrying about the people who don't like you instead of focusing on all the ones that love you? Do you say "yes" way too often because it is just easier than saying "no"?
Do you ever wonder if you have become a completely BORING blogger that no one wants to read about anymore because all you do is ramble? Ha!