Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Watch Them Grow

I feel like it was only yesterday that I was bringing Addie home from the hospital. I remember spending those first few weeks with her thinking how hard it was to be a Mom. The constant nursing, diaper changing, holding, swinging, playing...it was a lot to handle.

Or so I thought.

When Addie was a toddler running ALL over my house getting into everything she could...I was also pregnant with Blake. I was big...I was tired...and the only break I had all day was the 2 hours that Addie would nap in the afternoon. I remember thinking how hard it was to be a mom. The constant peeing and waddling, the constant "NO! DON'T TOUCH THAT!", the constant tantrum calming...it was a lot to handle. 

Or so I thought.

When Blake was a baby on-the-go and Addie was officially in her terrible-twos...I remember thinking how hard it was to be a mom. The constant juggling of feedings, diaper changes, potty training, opposite nap schedules, activities...it was a lot to handle.

Or so I thought.

Now that Blake is a toddler and Addie is a Preschooler...things are no less chaotic. In fact, I could easily say that life is more chaotic than ever before. I have two kids that are on the go all day {and many days with no nap or down time} and I am constantly pulled in two directions. I realize how lucky I am to be a Stay at Home Mom and able to take them to school, story time, playdates, the zoo, doctors appointments, etc. But long gone are the days of just staying home in our jammies every day. Sure, we still get some of those days {and I appreciate them more than ever} but my babies are growing up! Now we have preschool, dance class, activities, playdates, sleepovers, camping trips...you name it.

Things are changing around here and I can feel it. Next year, Blake will be in preschool and Addie will be in Kindergarten. I can't even think about it without getting tears in my eyes. My babies won't be babies anymore and that scares and excites me all at the same time. I HATE that I am slowly losing control and having to trust other people with my children. Teachers, dance instructors, babysitters, etc. It makes me so sad some days. THIS is the hardest part about being a Mom...letting your kids go. Not being there every second to kiss every boo-boo, answer every question, wipe every tear, share in every laugh...all those things I used to think were so hard are the things I will miss most.

But then...Addie will come home and sing her little pumpkin song, write her name PERFECTLY on a sheet of paper, tell me this elaborate story about Jesus from their bible time...and in that moment I will realize just how wonderful all these changes are for her. And how wonderful they will be for Blake. They need to be their own little people now and grow in other ways that don't always involve me.

 And I don't want to spend all my time being sad about the fact that my babies aren't babies anymore. I want to enjoy each stage in their lives and treasure all these moments. I am excited for them to be in school. I am excited to be out of diapers. I am excited to have two kids that sleep ALL NIGHT LONG. I am excited to watch them at their games and recitals. I am excited to simply watch them grow... 


5 comments:

  1. How adorable are those pictures! This post tugs at my heart strings. I'm going through the same thing. I have so much anxiety over Nathan being away from me for 3 hrs a day. But it does make it easier when he is so excited to see me and tells me what he learned. It is so hard to let go. And now I completely understand how my mom felt when I moved away.

    ReplyDelete
  2. So true Jen, so true! You are such a beautiful soul. Although I have similiar thoughts as you, I am not and I mean not good at putting them into words. I love reading your posts and thinking she said everything I wanted to and more. Thank you for being such a great writer.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I cry too! Just like when you and your brothers were groing to fast for me to keep up. But, thats what parents do. And even grandparents.

    ReplyDelete
  4. SO cute! :) And so much for me to look forward to! LOL :)

    ReplyDelete