I find it hard to think about anything besides Connecticut tonight. It's all I've thought about all weekend and to be honest...I don't know if I'll ever be able to forget it. I feel like something was taken from me...from all of us...and it's something that will be hard to get back.
No matter how much I love my kid's school and all of the teachers and administrators in that school, I don't know if I will ever trust that my kids are completely safe when they are there. And the saddest part about that statement is that my lack of trust has nothing to do with the teachers, the administrators, the safety measures put in place, the security, etc. My lack of trust has to do with sick people. Sick people who are capable of doing what this person did this weekend.
But then again, I guess this lack of trust applies to everything now. I can't trust that my kids are safe at the movie theater, the mall, a restaurant, a park... I can't trust that they are safe ANYWHERE anymore.
And I'm angry about that. So, SO angry that this incident has invoked so much fear and sadness in everyone. I know I am just one of millions of parents who held their kids a little tighter this weekend and made promises to never take one second with them for granted. But I also know that I am just one of millions of parents who were glued to the news coverage this weekend. After three days of seeing the sweet faces of those beautiful children and hearing the heroic stories of the teachers...I feel like I know all I need to know right now. I know who to pray for and I will continue to pray every single night.
So I need to step away from it now. I have two beautiful babies who are finally healthy and OVERJOYED about the fact that Christmas is only 8 days away. We have Christmas programs to attend, class parties, family get togethers, tickets to the Christmas Lights Express and so much more. They are too young to fully understand what has happened and I am so grateful for that. To them...this is the best week of the whole year and I want them to feel nothing but peace, love and joy. I have to believe that the parents of those victims would want all of us to do that. To hear their story, pray our hearts out for them, and then go on living for our children. I have to believe that.
Because moments like these are truly precious...
And I will NEVER take them for granted again. Not one iceskating lesson, not one Santa visit, not one hug between cousins...not one moment with any of my babies.
I pray, with all of my heart, that those families are able to find peace one day too. I hope that they can feel all of the love and support that people are sending them all over the world. And most of all, I hope that over time, all of those families can feel joy again. So that's what I am wishing for them...and all of you this Christmas.
Peace. Love. & Joy
May God bless us all.