Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Being Okay With Messy

The other day I saw a mom in Target with newborn twins, holding a carrier in each arm, calmly direct her 3 and 5 year old to grab a cart with the extra seats. The two older kids slammed the cart into the Dollar Spot, knocking over a shelf of mini oreo cups, and then when they tried to turn quickly, they knocked over the stack of shopping baskets. The mom stood there, calm as a cucumber, and asked the kids to stop pushing the cart. She set the babies down next to her, cleaned up both messes, put the twin carriers in the cart, the two older kids in the seats, and ordered herself a Starbucks.

I stood in awe of this woman for what felt like 10 minutes. HOW did she keep her cool like that? WHY didn't she freak out and leave the store? Better yet, what the HELL was she thinking bringing all those kids to Target???

I saw this woman 3 different times in the store and each time I went past her, one or all of her kids were crying. First I found her reading labels on organic pasta sauces. Then I found her comparing two different Christmas pillows. Then at the end of my trip, I saw her by the workout clothes holding up sports bras. This chick had shopping to do and she didn't give a shit what her kids, or the rest of Target thought about it.

She was my hero.

And I don't say that because she was able to handle 4 kids in Target (although that alone is pretty spectacular). The reason I call the woman my hero is because she didn't worry about what ANYONE else thought about her in that store. Even when her kids were knocking over displays or throwing tantrums because they wanted Fruit Loops, she completely kept her cool and didn't dash for the parking lot with tears in her eyes. She had her shit together...and I so badly wished I was like her.

This past weekend, Eric and I had some of our friends stop by for an unexpected, quick visit. It was a Sunday and we were rushing around trying to get ready for dinner at my in-laws. I was also in the process of pulling out Christmas decorations so there were a bunch of random decorations spread all over my counters and tables. The kids rooms were trashed from a long morning of fort building, my floors were dirty and covered in fake pine needles and sliver tinsel from dragging up the tree, my office still had craft supplies all over the desk and there were random piles of folded laundry everywhere you looked. My house was NOT in the shape I like it to be when friends come over for a visit, especially friends who have never seen our house before. But they were 5 minutes away!!

I tried my best to quickly pick up and shut doors to the bedrooms but before I knew it, they were already inside and Eric was giving them the grand tour. I tried several times to make eye contact with him before I finally shouted out, "NO! Don't go in the kids rooms...they are trashed." In the same breath I was also apologizing for my floors and my messy office. I was absolutely mortified. I just kept looking around at my messy house and at one point I actually got tears in my eyes.

I know that must sound absolutely crazy. In fact, it even sounds crazy to me as I type this!! But I was upset and embarrassed that I didn't have my shit together that day. And to be honest, not having my shit together is what causes me the most stress. I feel like Eric, the kids, our family, my friends, my students, my customers, my blog readers and even the random shoppers at Target are (to some degree) depending on me to have my shit together. And some days I do! But most days, I am just trying to survive and keep everyone alive.

So how do we become that mom in Target? How do we learn to keep our cool and not worry about what others think? How do we become "okay" with life being a little messy and loud sometimes?

The answer is to paper your walls with fabulous quotes like these from Mother's Letter.

Kristen Welch Quote - Mother Letters E-book

mother letters, word art, mother letters ebook, super mom, mother letters free art, free printable for Mother's Day

mother letters, word art, mother letters ebook, free printable for Mother's Day, mother letters free art

I just need to remind myself EVERY day that it's okay to be a little messy. It's okay to say "No" when there simply isn't enough time for something. It's okay to be loud. It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to knock over stacks of oreos in Target. It's okay to be a Mom who isn't perfect, but does the best she can. It's okay to be me :-)


  1. LOVE this! I have a friend who has an 8 year old boy, 4 year old girl, 22 month old boy and just gave birth to surprise twins 4 months ago. She is the same way. This is me, my stage in life. If you don't like it, don't come over. Lol. And then I think about myself, having a "serious talk" with my kids yesterday because the embarrassed me by being wild in TJ Maxx. They are kids for heaven's sake! Why can't we just let them be kids?! I definitely need patience and work in this area. :(

  2. Love this post! I can relate on so many levels. Love the last quote - I'm stealing it ;)

  3. You are awesome! I love this. But we both know Super Mom went home and poured herself a nice nap-time beverage. Because even those who have their shit together need a little cocktail every now and then (or every day in my case). ;)

  4. I think this i the best post ive read in a while. Cracked me up. We don't expect you to have everything together it's ok to worry bout what others think but remember people are mot likely sittingback thinking the same about you! your also asuper mom role model.

  5. When I was up with my sick little buddy last night at 2am, I hopped on your blog to catch up. I love everything about this post and it was perfect timing for me to read. With Christmas on its way and so much to be done, I am finding myself pausing more to soak in the season, especially with Will by my side. I don't want to regret not taking time to ENJOY. Will doesn't care if there are dirty dishes, piles of laundry or imperfect pillows strewn about on the couch. And I know that 20 years from now, I won't care that I ignored all of these things to play with my baby. Thank you for writing this! xxox

  6. What a fabulous post. You're incredible, and you're 100% right. Messy is okay! I don't have children yet, but when I do I know I'll find inspiration in you. You manage to juggle so many things at once - your diligence and dedication to so many things is unbelievable. So, if the house is a mess every now and then. Who cares? If you fall behind on your blog? It's all good. If you don't have time to stay up til 2am creating amazeballs printables? Totally okay. All that matters is that you're doing a fabulous job of taking care of your babies, your hubby and (sometimes) yourself.
    Love you, twinnie! xo


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