Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Tori & Dean: You Came and Went So Quickly!

Last week was the season finale of "Tori & Dean~Home Sweet Hollywood" and I have to say...I am a little sad! You all know how much I love this show and how I always feel like I can relate to everything they talk, laugh and cry about (aside form all the Hollywood drama of course). 

Now, if you missed the show, the major topic of discussion the past few episodes has been about whether or not to invite Tori's mom Candy to Stella's 1st Birthday Party. Tori and her Mom have been at war for quite a while, but Tori decided to finally make a peace offering by inviting Candy to the party. But as expected...Candy did not show.

The rest of the episode, Tori and Dean talked (and sometimes argued) over what to do in a situation like this. Tori feels that even though she has been hurt many times by her mother, she still desperately wants to have a relationship with her, especially for the kids' sake. Dean, on the other hand, feels that it is best for Tori to cut her out of her life for good because all she is going to do is continue to hurt her. So this got me thinking...

First of all, this doesn't have me thinking because my Mom and I have a bad relationship. I think you all know what kind of relationship my mom and I have :-) But it did get me thinking about family and friends in general. When it comes to people you love...can you ever really say "enough is enough"? 

I suppose the answer to this question really depends on the situation, but in general...if you care about someone...can you ever really cut them out of your life and be okay with it? Can you just say "peace out" and never talk to them again? I know people do this all the time, but I honestly don't think I could ever do it myself. Even when I am furious with someone and truly believe that I have a right to be angry with them...there is always this part of me that wants to apologize to them just so the fight will end. 

You see...I am the type of person who can't hold in my feelings so I just blurt them out the minute I feel them. Sometimes this a good thing...and other times it is a very bad thing. I wish I could sleep on things before I react. I wish I could look at the big picture and make decisions based on how things will be in the long run, instead of how they are at that very moment. I wish I could always think calmly, rationally and logically when I am feeling emotional. But I can't. I am just not that kind of person. And even though at times it may seem like I am a fire starter because I speak my mind, I really do hate conflict. I hate being at war with people, especially with people I care about. One minute I feel angry and think "Hey...this isn't my fault!" but then the next minute I just want to call everyone and say "'s my fault. Can we call a truce?" So my point in saying all this is that I understand what Tori is going through. She is angry at her mom and her mom has done a lot of things wrong, but Tori can also look at the big picture and realize she isn't perfect either. She just wants a relationship with her mother and the only way to do that is to just put the past behind her. Dean thinks she is asking for trouble...and maybe she is. But what do we do?

So my question tonight, friends, is how do you feel when it comes to family and friends? Can you always forgive and forget when it comes to someone you care about? Or do you believe the old saying "Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me"? Are you an emotional blurter like me, or are you the person that likes to sit back in silence and let things marinate? I would love to know your thoughts on this subject :-)


  1. Oh boy, I am a blurter through and through...I have also gotten myself into quite a pickle in certain situations because I could not simply let it go :( I need to let my feelings be know asap and this can sometimes be a bad thing. I have also noticed in the past few years that when someone has "done me wrong" I am actually able to cut them out pretty easily. Life is too short and time is invaluable to me.


  2. I am a marinater. (Is that a word?) :) I quit talking if I get upset and walk away. This does piss my hubby off because he just wants to resolve things then and there, screaming or not! I tend to let people get away with alot, and sometimes, they take advantage of that. So it can be a huge fault.
    I don't think I would ever give up on my mom. Then again, I am not in that situation, so I don't know what I would do. I know there has to be some line, but don't know where...

  3. I definitely don't forgive easily, but I do think about things before I react. It really helps. I have never wanted to be that person that says something and regrets it later.

  4. It depends on the situation for me. Even when friends or family do something wrong I can forgive, but I can't always forget. I'm not one to come out with my feelings unless I know you, and even then I don't always let them go. I just let them sit inside me till it explodes...not always a good thing. I give Tori a lot of credit for trying to fix things and I think her mom better step up and prove she wants to be in her daughter's life!

  5. Jen, I am a total quiet person when I am upset about something. But I have to talk it out once I get my thoughts together, especially with my hubby. I cannot go to bed angry. But I am also a really forgiving person. I hate that feeling that something isn't right with someone. I can't help but think that people aren't born bad, sometimes things happen to make people the way they are. And I try really hard to be the bigger person just to make it all better, even when I shouldn't. But, I never regret doing that either.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.