Before Blake arrived, I felt like I had everything in order. My house was clean and organized, the nursery was stocked and ready to go. I felt rested (or as rested as I could be) and I was ready to start my new life.
So...how do I feel now, 10 days into my new life as a mommy of two? Lets start with the obvious...
I'm pretty sure this is a given, but I thought I would mention it anyway because this is a WHOLE new level of tired for me. If I could go back in time and talk to myself 10 days after having Addie, I would tell my "overly tired" self to enjoy this time. All I had to do for the first 10 days was lay on the couch and nurse Addie when she was hungry and stare at her while she slept. I didn't have another human being needing my care and attention. I don't get to just lay around and love on Blake (although I still feel like I do plenty of that), I also have to love on Addie and give her the attention she deserves right now. Luckily, Addie has been fantastic about all of this. She has had lots of visitors and quality time with Nana and Papa to keep her entertained, but today was my first day on my own with the two kids and she was great. She did have a few whiney moments but lets be honest...she had those before she had a baby brother :-) She is very sweet and nurturing and I think those qualities help her process all of this. And, I thank God every day that she is a good sleeper at night now because I couldn't imagine being up with two of them every night. Kris...I will say it again...you are my hero with those twins :-)
This is just hilarious to me, considering how much time I spent getting organized before Blake arrived. I really thought I had everything I needed. But two days in, I realized I only had 2 newborn size sleepers (I guess I thought Blake would be bigger or something), I was down to my last package of wipes (I usually buy them in bulk at Target), we were down to half a gallon of milk in the fridge AND I had left a load of laundry in the washer when we left for the hospital. They were wet towels. SICK! How did this happen? How could I have thought I was so organized? And my house is absolutely trashed now and I guess it is a good thing I am so tired because it makes me just a tad less O.C.D. Ha!
I think doctors call it "baby blues" when mom's come home and can't help crying all the time. I can't say that I have been crying all the time, but I have definitely been super emotional. For example, I cried 4 times today. I cried when I woke up and realized that all of my favorite sweat pants were in the dirty laundry at the same time. I cried again when I watched Addie run to Blake when she got up just so she could give him a kiss on the head. So freaking sweet. I cried when I watched the Humane Society commercial during naptime. And I cried this evening when I couldn't decide what to eat for dinner. I guess I could blame all this on "baby blues" or hormones or whatever...but I think I have cried for all these reasons before so maybe it doesn't count.
I have always had low iron and been anemic on and off since I was a teenager. Obviously, pregnancy makes me very susceptible to this because the baby is getting all of my nutrients. My iron wasn't too low this pregnancy, but after losing blood during surgery and breastfeeding 24/7, you can imagine how anemic I am right now. This usually isn't a big deal but being sleep deprived on top of it is not so good. So I am back on iron pills which is SO not fun because of the belly issues that go along with taking those. Yuck! My mom and I have started researching some other ways to incorporate more iron into my diet but if any of you have suggestions or ideas...I would really appreciate them. Because seriously, unless it is on a pizza, I freaking hate spinach :-)
I am determined to make Blake a good sleeper (even though he seems to be quite the night owl at the moment). I read every sleep book out there and found "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child" and "Happiest Baby on the Block" to be the two most effective when it came to sleep training Addie. Now I know that every baby is different and I know I can't really make Blake a good sleeper...but I am DETERMINED to try. I even bought into something that I am hoping works as good as everyone says it does. My friend Amy recommended the Miracle Blanket and I just received it in the mail today.
Apparently this blanket is suppose to work miracles in the sleep department and since Blake already likes being swaddled, I thought I would give it a shot. Thanks for the suggestion Amy! I hope it works as well for us as it did for you!
I know this will change once I am no longer house bound with the kiddies, but I feel SO unstylish. I have lived in comfy pants, a bath robe and slippers for over a week now. Now don't get me wrong, I love being in comfy clothes. I especially love these Smartdog slippers my mom bought me as a coming home gift. They are seriously the warmest, most comfortable slippers ever. I highly recommend :-)
But even though I love my comfy clothes, there comes a point where you just want to feel cute again. I want to wear jeans and a sweater with a scarf. Hell...I just want to wear anything that isn't maternity! I have a feeling I will be pretty decked out for my first trip to Target. Ha!
I am truly surprised by how much easier my recovery has been this time around. I know a lot of people told me that their second c-section was much easier than their first and they were right. I remember still having a hard time getting up and down at 10 days postpartum but this time around, I feel like I can do it with a lot more ease. Although, I don't really have a choice this time because like I said...I don't get to sit around all day like last time. Maybe all the movement has helped or maybe my body is just more use to the process. Either way, I am very thankful for this.
I knew I wanted to breastfeed again this time around and it felt nice not having to worry about whether or not I could do it. After nursing Addie for as long as I did, I kind of felt like a pro in this department. And maybe that confidence has something to with how well Blake has taken to nursing. He is a pro now too and he is only 10 days old! This makes me very, VERY happy because breastfeeding can be a very challenging task, especially when you have to deal with the first few weeks. Sorry to anyone for this next part, it may be TMI, but I am going to say it anyway. My boobs are ginormous. I mean seriously freaking huge. Like, can't even fit into the nursing bras I bought. Eric thinks this part is fantastic. He even said, "Wow...its like you had a boob job! Is it fun walking around with those?" Fun? Does he think that walking around with two rock hard melons is fun? Or having a little baby practically suck your sore tender nipples off every 2 hours? Or waking up with a wet shirt because your so-called no-leak nursing pads failed once again? Yeah babe. Its freaking awesome!
I honestly thought this would be different. I thought I wouldn't be such a germaphobe like I was when I had Addie. And maybe it has something to do with the flu season or the fact that almost everyone in my extended family has had the flu in the past two weeks, but I have become absolutely psycho about washing my hands, using Lysol on every solid surface in my house, wiping down Addie's toys nightly and making sure that no one is sharing any glasses in our house. I mean...even if I could get some sleep right now...I probably wouldn't because I am too worried about everyone getting sick. But I just have to say, for the record, that I am SO happy I got us all the flu shots this year. That won't be a question for me in years to come :-)
For nine months, I have prayed for a healthy baby. I prayed I would get through my pregnancy and delivery without any complications. I prayed I would be able to take home a beautiful, healthy baby boy. And God DEFINITELY answered my prayers with this little guy :-)
I didn't think it was possible to love Addie more than I already did, but somehow I do. Seeing her interact with Blake and take on this very motherly role has been so special to me. She wants to do everything I do and it is just precious. When I change Blake's diaper, she changes her baby's diaper on the floor. When I feed Blake, she grabs her baby and feeds him too. I know this swing is not made for a 27 pounds toddler, but when she hopped in to feed her baby, I didn't have the heart to take her out :-)
And then there is this guy. The new man in my life, who acts more like a 3 month old than a newborn. He is SO alert when he is awake and SO interested in everything around him. He rarely cries and even though I refer to him as a night owl, it isn't because he is up screaming. He is just up hanging out. He wants me to talk to him and look at him and hold him. And even though I am EXHAUSTED...how can you deny a face like that?
I know this was a very long post to answer a very simple question but you know me. I am a talker (or writer) and it has been a while since I spent time on this blog. Now, since both of my babies are sleeping, I am going to sign off for the night. Take care everyone and have a very restful night!!!