Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Chucky Has NOTHING on These Dolls...

Bless my Grandma's heart...she is a recovering hoarder that has been purging her house of unwanted items for the past few years. She is a dollar store junkie and a sucker for a great bargain. But what she loves even more than buying these random items is giving them away to family and friends. My Grandma really is a giver and she spoils my kids rotten.

So when she told me that she had a special treat for Addie a few weeks ago, I assumed it was another bag of candy or some light-up toy from the dollar bin at Walgreens. But instead, she said she had a "collectors set" of these small dolls that she bought years ago. She said she had been "saving them" in case I had a daughter some day. I was almost a little choked up, thinking these dolls were some priceless heirlooms that Addie and I could cherish forever.

But when I opened the grey shoebox that held these "collectors dolls" I almost screamed. Seriously. They are by far the scariest F-ing dolls I have ever seen in my entire life. Don't believe me? See for yourself...

For weeks I have kept these dolls in their shoebox on the top shelf of my hall closet. I told Addie that we needed to keep them special, but the truth is I am scared shitless that one of these dolls is going to come to life in the middle of the night and eat my face off. But alas...she wore me down and I gave them to her yesterday. She has been playing with them ever since.

I suppose I could handle it if they were just in her playroom. But instead, she has been "putting them to bed" all over my house. In fact, when I went to bed last night, one was under my covers. I might have peed a little when I saw it.

I know my Grandma probably got this set of dolls for a great bargain but I have to wonder what she saw in them? Bargain or not...they are scary as hell! She doesn't seem to think so though because she told me I should get a display shelf for them. Umm......no.

I have no doubt that my Grams bought these in the hopes of giving them away to someone special. I also have no doubt that she had me in mind when she stashed them away in her closet. I would never tell her how scary I think they are and I could never get rid of them now (especially without an Exorcism) so I have to just put my fears aside and try to see the cute in them. And I guess they really aren't that bad. Although, come the dead of night, I still think they could give Chucky a run for his money.


  1. Uh yeah! Spooky. But you left my favorite one out! I bet it's hiding in a closet somewhere!

  2. I Hope they don't spell something out with the tub letters. I here the music now.

  3. Oh my... Poor Grams, she was just tryin' to do a good thing. *FAIL!*

  4. jen- I almost peed myself laughing! That is so funny. My Mom sis and I went through a doll collecting stage, so they don't terrify me quite like they do you, but the one does look like a cross between a monkey and a human, so I can see how you would be concerned! Seriously that was such a funny post, even if it was at the expense of your restful/ I mean restless sleep.

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