Yesterday was one of those days where I tried to do it all...
And failed miserably.
I wanted to be Super Mom but instead, I spent my afternoon feeling defeated and frustrated.
You see...I am pretty spoiled when it comes to help with my kids. My parents live 5 minutes away and since they are both retired, they help me a LOT. I also have in-laws near by, who always lend a hand when they can too. Dana and I also try to help each other with the kids, which is thankfully becoming a lot easier these days.
But aside from all this available help, I like to try and take care of things on my own sometimes. I mean...I am completely capable of taking both my kids to the grocery store instead of waiting until Eric gets home. I am also completely capable of taking both kids to a doctor's appointment, without having to ask my parents to watch one of them. I mean for God's sake...MckMama is on an RV trip with all 5 of her kids ALL BY HERSELF!!! If she can do that, surely I can handle a trip to Barnes and Noble with 2 of them.
And some days I can. Some days it's easy. I can get through the grocery store with no major meltdowns. I can get through a meal in a restaurant with them and not have to leave before I finish my food. I can take care of my errands, my housework, my schoolwork, the kids projects and still manage to get dinner on the table. On those days I pat myself on the back and say, "Well done Momma! Way to tackle shit today!"
But then there are days like yesterday. I woke up with the best intentions. I needed to get both kids a haircut, visit Target and the grocery store, and take Blake to a follow-up doc appointment.
Not that tough, right?
Stop one was the haircut. Both kids were awesome. They sat there all cute, eating their suckers, letting the lady snip away.
And then Blake pooped.
Not a big deal. This is a kid's hair place, it happens all the time. So I reached in my purse to grab my diapers and wipes bag and realized it's in my stroller. You know...the one in my garage? So I have no diapers. And this boy is ripe. He is stinkin up the salon and I feel like the worst mom. The woman cutting Addie's hair was even like, "Oh no...did you forget your diaper bag?" Clearly, lady. Clearly I forgot the diaper bag.
So after I paid $30 for two haircuts, we were off to CVS. It was there that I changed Blake's diaper. In my car. In the parking lot. He was in an awkward position and then when he heard another car door shut he turned to look.
Not a biggie. I used the whole thing of wipes I just bought to clean up the mess, and everyone was poop free and ready to head to the store.
Target was easy, we were in and out. But then Wal-Mart came with all of their delicious, tempting Easter candy displays and my kids went nuts. Like seriously...they were like two animals in the cart, screaming for M&Ms. So of course I grabbed the first bag, tore it open and prayed it would last until the check-out line. I suppose it would have, if Blake hadn't dumped the whole bag upside down in isle 5.
That's when we left Wal-Mart.
At this point, I was sure it was time for Blake's doc appointment. It was at 11:30 so it had to be almost 11:15 at this point. I looked down at my phone.
But then I had this wave of Super Mom adrenaline rush through me and I thought, "I'VE GOT IT!!!" So in the car we flew to Barnes and Noble and walked in just in time for story time. The kids sat on the bench all cute and I happily accepted the smiles from other parents. My kids are adorable when they behave.
We made it through one story before Addie was over it. She was eyeing the train table that was currently occupied with some other kids. Kids who weren't into sharing. And since their Mom was looking at US Weekly...she wasn't into caring. Whatevs. It was the Hunger Games issue. I get it. But shit got ugly around that train table and she was no help at all. So I ended up having to take my kids away from the table screaming. Not the best exit from a bookstore.
Luckily, it was FINALLY time for the doctor's office. And had it not been for the 45 MINUTE WAIT...my kids might have held on. But they didn't...and the docs office was pretty ugly too. Lots of crying and whining. And the kids were no better.
On the drive home, the kids slept. I didn't even try to keep them awake because the quiet was nice. They would be rested when we got home and we could go play outside and all would be right with the world.
When I pulled into the garage, the kids were still sleeping. I decided to leave them while I unloaded the car and let Howie out. Well, between one of my trips into the house, Addie woke up and thought I had left her there alone. So she SCREAMED to Blake and he woke up in a panic. When I went out to get them, they were both hysterical. I was seriously gone 3 seconds, but it was a total Mom Fail. Blake was mumbling something like, "Momma. Left. Me" in his little robot voice :-(
Needless to say, the afternoon was rough. The kids were not in a good mood and all of my patience and Super Mom adrenaline was gone. I decided to put on a movie for them and attempt my vlog for today. I was a minute into my video when Addie came running in crying. I thought she was hurt, but turns out she was just out of milk. That's when I went a little crazy.
I yelled. Refused to give her more milk until she could act like a big girl. Then because she was crying, Blake started crying. Then I started crying and called my mom to tell her I wanted to see an earlier showing of The Hunger Games. I wanted OUT!!!
And it was nice to be out. The movie was great (I will recap later) and my mom and Dana and I had a great time laughing and crying (I hate when Rue dies).
But on the drive home, I started feeling sad. Sad that I left in such an angry mood. Sad that the kids didn't have a better day. Sad that I wanted out so badly I didn't even give them a nice goodbye. I just left. And they probably went to bed mad at me. So I asked Eric how the kids were and he said great, of course...because they always are for him, and then he asked what we did today because Addie said she had "a really fun day today". She got a pretty haircut, ate some M&Ms, went with Blakey to the doctor, took a nap in the car and watched some Doc McStuffins.
I suppose in her eyes, yesterday was a great day. And damn it...that's how I should see it in my eyes too. I made it through the morning. I survived. My kids got their haircuts, I got my errands done, we made it to Blake's appointment and we even took in a little story time. And had I not been so stressed about the day, I might have canceled my movie date (because I always feel guilty). And the night away was just what I needed.
I guess looking back on yesterday, I really was Super Mom after all. I just needed to give myself and the kids more credit. I think that's something all of us mommies struggle with. We want to do it all and when we can't, we blame ourselves. We think we have failed if dinner isn't ready. Or if we forget diapers. Or if we miss an appointment. Or if our kids screams through Target. But the fact is...it happens to ALL of us. I don't care who you are. We've all had days like this and I am just glad that I am able to see the silver lining today and look at yesterday as a win, instead of a fail.
I mean after all...no one ever said being a mom was easy :-)