Thursday, February 20, 2014

One Month

That is the longest I have ever gone without posting in the almost 6 years I've blogged at A Daily Dose of Davis. I know this blog has taken a backseat to everything else in my life for a while…but a MONTH?! With NOTHING?!

And blogging isn't the only thing that I haven't made time for in the last month. I've also not been out for a good run.  I've not been to a yoga class. I've not had dinner and drinks with my girlfriends. And honestly, I've not had ANY free time whatsoever to myself. My nails are chipped, I have a stack of unread magazines on my nightstand and I can't remember the last time I was in bed before 11:00. 

I know it may sound like complaining {and maybe it is a little} but I am incredibly grateful for the circumstances that have kept me from all of these things. I am getting to live a life that I always dreamed of. I get to stay home with my kiddies during the day and volunteer at their school and be a room-mom for all of their little parties. I get to work as an English teacher at a college that I love and am proud to be a part of. I get to run a little Etsy business that is actually not-so-little anymore. My days are spent running back and forth to school, dance, library, iceskating, etc. and when the day is finally over and the babes are nestled all snug in their beds, I spend some quality time with Eric until he goes to bed and then I burn the midnight oil grading papers or filling orders for the shop.

Life is good right now and I thank God every day for it.


This mama is tired.

The other night, after  I got home from teaching, I plopped my big butt  down on the couch and let out a huge sigh. Class had gone great that night, but I knew I had at least an hours worth of work left to do in my office. Eric looked at me and said, "Babe…you are burning the candle at both ends."

Normally, I get defensive when he says things like this. I like to think of myself as a master multi-tasker but at this particular moment…I knew he was right. Something has to give. But the big question is…what?

Now I know I am not the only Mom who feels this way…pulled in 50 directions a day, taking care of everyone but herself. And the funniest part about all this is that when I look back on some of my posts from 5 years ago, when Addie was just a baby and I was a full-time Stay-at-home-mom…I thought my life couldn't get any crazier. All the nursing and diaper changing and sleep training and tummy time and feeding schedules and house cleaning and cooking and baby food making…AH! I remember feeling so overwhelmed and like I had no time for myself. 

And now, I look back on those days when there was still a nap time. When we didn't have 20 places to go every day. When we stayed in our jammies 80% of the time. And I think…how could I have thought life was so crazy then? And the answer is…I didn't know any different! Every stage of motherhood is challenging for it's own reasons, which is why we should NEVER judge another mother and think we have it harder than she does. We all look for this balance and I think most of us fail miserably at it. But that doesn't mean we should ever stop trying.

I was having coffee with my Grams the other day and she said something so perfect to me. She said,

"Honey…being a mommy is hard work and I know you are busy. But if you don't make time for yourself and the things that make you happy, you will never be the mommy you want to be."

And this is coming from a woman who raised three girls all by herself. She not only had to work more than one job to support them and keep a roof over their head, but she also had to put meals on the table, help with homework, give baths at night, etc. She had to do everything for her family and she STILL knew how important it was to make time for herself.

And my mom has told me the same thing. She was a stay-at-home-mommy to three crazy kids and my dad worked a lot of long hours. She said her only "me time" was when she could sit and have a cup of coffee in the morning before we got up, or when she could work in her sewing room at night after we went to bed. But those moments were important for her sanity so even though her days were incredibly busy, and her to-do list was a mile long, she still made the time for herself, even if it was just for a few minutes.

And maybe that is where I keep going wrong. I only think about the big gestures of "me time" like spa days and weekends away with our hubby or friends, and forget about how important the little breaks are too.

One of my friends pinned this really cute picture the other day and it got me thinking…

What are some of the little things I love to do that make me smile and de-stress? It was such a fun question…I had to write them down.

Go for a run.
Read a magazine.
Drink a cup of coffee.
Paint my nails.
Play with my planner.
Make a craft.
Do some yoga.
Talk on the phone.
Blog :-)
Drink a glass of wine.
Eat some of the chocolate I have hidden in my desk.
Walk around Barnes & Noble.
Have my hair done.
Look at cookbooks {but not actually cook}
Do something nice for someone.

Turns out there are a lot of little things I love to do for "me" and they don't require a lot of time or money. All I have to do is simply MAKE THE TIME!!!!

So who else wants to work on making some time with me? What is on your list? What makes you smile and de-stress? For some strange reason…I feel like writing them down has made me want to try harder. So for starters…let's see if I can blog again before another month passes :-)